


Broken Dams

by sisteroftime



Category: Wynonna Earp (TV)
Genre: F/F, Hurt/Comfort, Incest, Sappy Ending, Sibling Incest, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-09
Updated: 2021-03-09
Packaged: 2021-03-15 10:40:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,291
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29932188
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sisteroftime/pseuds/sisteroftime
Summary: In 3x05, when Jolene tries to convince her to kill herself, Waverly remembers too late that Wynonna loves her. She's not going to forget again.
Relationships: Waverly Earp/Wynonna Earp
Comments: 4
Kudos: 10





	Broken Dams

Jolene was right. Nobody loved Waverly; why should they? What was she besides a burden on her friends? A sick, cancerous tumor on her family? Everything, really, was her fault. Her fault Jolene was so hurt, her fault Daddy and Willa were dead, her fault Wynonna hated her. God, Wynonna really hated her, didn’t she? Of course she did. Waverly Earp—no, Waverly who had never been an Earp—was a monster. She needed to be put down like one before she hurt anyone else.

Waverly wrapped her fingers around the handle of the blade Jolene placed at her chest. The tip pricked through the fabric of her shirt and grazed her skin, cold and sharp against the mounting anguish inside of her, and if she could just gather the will, she could let it out. She could break the dam and let everything bad flow out of her until there was nothing left, and then Jolene would feel better, and her friends, and Wynonna. All it would take was one really good thrust.

“Do it,” Jolene snarled again.

And she did. She pulled the blade into herself with as much strength as she could muster, and she froze. It was as if the pain snapped her out of a fever dream and suddenly she felt she had made a terrible mistake.

She was going to die. She could feel the knife inside her, all the way to its hilt, and she couldn’t take it back now.

Jolene grinned and stroked Waverly’s cheek with the back of her finger. “Oh, you poor thing,” she said. “Let me help you with that.”

She pulled the knife out and Waverly gasped at the sensation. It hurt so much worse coming out, and her head buzzed with panic as blood spread over her front. Too much, too fast…did that at least mean it would end soon? She hoped so. She couldn’t move, she couldn’t breathe without inciting waves of searing pain through her whole body. It was blinding, it was deafening, but one voice broke through the haze.

“Waverly?”

The yelling outside was so muffled at first Waverly was sure she must have been imagining it, but then the greenhouse door fell open and Wynonna was there. It took all of five seconds for her to empty Peacemaker into Jolene and to race to Waverly’s side.

“Oh, God,” Mama murmured. “I’m calling an ambulance.”

“Waverly,” Wynonna said, already shrugging her jacket off and ripping her shirt off her back to press into the wound. “You with me, baby girl?”

Waverly nodded. “I’m so sorry,” she whispered through the pain.

“Don’t,” Wynonna said. “Don’t apologize. You’re gonna be fine, all right, Waves? I won’t let anything happen to you. Come here.”

Waverly couldn’t tell if it was her or Wynonna trembling as her sister pulled her onto her lap and pressed harder into her abdomen. Honestly, it didn’t hurt much anymore. She recognized that it was probably a bad thing, but all she really felt now was dizzy and tired, and maybe she should be more scared, but her sister was there. She was comfortable in Wynonna’s arms, and she’d gotten to see her face again, and she knew now with no uncertainty that Wynonna had never hated her. If only she could gather the strength to tell her one last time that she loved her.

“Waverly.” Tears hit Waverly’s face from above, but Wynonna was out of focus now. “Come on, Waves, keep your eyes open. Stay with me, baby, _please_.”

She wanted to. She really did, but she’d never felt her body weighed down like this in her life. She couldn’t stay awake, not even for Wynonna, and all she could think until she couldn’t anymore was I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry.

***

“How are you feeling?”

“Right as rain.”

Waverly smiled up at Wynonna from her bed at the homestead. “Same as I was last time you asked, which was only, like, an hour ago, by the way.”

“Nothing wrong with making sure.” Wynonna busied herself with fluffing the pillows behind her back. “Are your sheets warm enough? It’s gonna get cold tonight; I’ll get you another blanket.”

“Wynonna.” Waverly caught Wynonna’s wrist as she turned away, and she reluctantly turned back. Waverly had been home from the hospital for a couple of weeks now, perfectly functional for the most part, but her sister still couldn’t seem to relax. “You know I’m okay, right?” she said. “Look, I can stand up—” She demonstrated her point, albeit with a wince of pain—“and walk around. You can take a break.”

“This _is_ a break,” Wynonna said. “I’m not working. I mean, I’ve just been hanging out with you; it’s exactly like a vacation besides the tropical plants and hot shirtless people.”

“You know what I mean.” Waverly sat back down and patted the spot next to her. “Sit with me?”

Wynonna hesitated, then slid onto the mattress without a word.

“What’s wrong, Wynonna? Really?” she said. “Is something going on with you and Doc, or…?”

Wynonna gave a short laugh. “No,” she said. “There’s nothing going on with me and Doc, like, at all. And that was my decision, so don’t worry about it.”

“Okay.” Waverly shifted uncomfortably. “Is it me, then?”

Wynonna only blinked and looked down, but that was answer enough.

Waverly sighed and played with her fingers in her lap. “You don’t have to worry about me, you know. I’m totally fine.” She paused. “Do you want to talk about it? You haven’t really…actually mentioned what happened.”

“You almost killed yourself.” Wynonna’s voice was hard but unsteady.

Waverly frowned. “That was—”

“I know what it was,” Wynonna said. “But how do I know she doesn’t still have that hold on you? How do I know she didn’t plant this idea in you, and it’ll keep growing until I go out for a drink and come back to find you with a hole in your head? There’s no coming back from that, Waverly. There almost wasn’t from this.”

“Hey.” Waverly took Wynonna’s hand. “Jolene is gone. I’ve never felt better. It was all her, all of it.” She frowned. “She made me believe you hated me, and I…I couldn’t take that. But I’m in my right mind now and I know better. It all just feels like a distant dream.”

“I could never hate you,” Wynonna said, and her brilliant blue eyes bored into Waverly’s. “You know that, right? You know I—I love you. More than anything.”

“I know,” Waverly said. “I love you, too.” But her heart flipped at the statement. She’d felt it once before, but she’d almost immediately forgotten about it considering the circumstances. She’d needed to take the Mictian back from Wynonna, and it was so fast, but when she’d leaned in to kiss her…

Waverly suddenly felt faint and her breath caught in her throat. Oh, God, she couldn’t deal with this now. Not while Wynonna was still doting on her, spending almost every waking moment by her side. Years of repression bubbled up in her chest and threatened to spill out, as if that weren’t the worst thing that could possibly happen. Yes, Wynonna loved her; she had no doubt about that. But not like this.

“Waverly?”

She snapped out of it and looked up at Wynonna, whose face was tinged with concern. “Sorry,” she said distantly. “I just got really tired all of a sudden.”

Wynonna softened and tucked a loose strand of hair behind Waverly’s ear, causing butterflies to shoot through her stomach. “Get some rest, baby girl.”

She kissed the top of Waverly’s head before turning toward the door, but Waverly impulsively stopped her with a quick “Wait.” Her mind blanked as her sister stared at her, and rather than coming up with a believable lie, she said what had already popped into her head. “Will you stay with me?”

Wynonna paused, then slowly nodded. “Yeah,” she said. “Yeah, of course. Whatever you want.”

She crawled back into the bed, this time to lie down. She curled up on her side facing Waverly and tucked one arm under her head. “Haven’t had a sleepover since we were kids,” she said.

“Not since we almost gave Gus a heart attack with that game of truth or dare,” Waverly agreed.

“Oh, that was a good one!” Wynonna chuckled. “It was nice. Not that I miss childhood, you know, but you…you were the silver lining in it. You’re the silver lining in adulthood, too, actually,” she said, and Waverly couldn’t quite tell whether she was joking, but it made her chest feel uncomfortably full. Wynonna’s expression became more serious as her eyes drifted down to where Waverly’s wound was still healing. “I don’t know what I would do if I lost you.”

Waverly shrugged, unsure of how to respond. “Repurpose my room into a bar?” she offered.

“Ha ha, very funny.” Wynonna shook her head. “I just can’t stop thinking about it. I’ve never felt so…so scared and helpless in my life.” She paused and swallowed hard, and Waverly’s chest ached again. It was so rare or Wynonna to talk like this without cracking dumb jokes and deflecting, but now she laid herself bare. “Waves, you almost died. It’s a fucking miracle you didn’t. And every time I close my eyes, I see you there, bleeding out or lying in the hospital or just…dead.” She took a deep, shuddering breath. “I should have been there. I should have stopped her from hurting you.”

Waverly shook her head. “It’s not your fault,” she said. “I’m here. I’m not going anywhere.”

Wynonna chuckled. “You’d better not,” she said, then brushed the hair out of Waverly’s face to press a long kiss to her forehead. “You’re my angel. I need you.”

Waverly stared at Wynonna as she pulled back, trying to even out her breathing and her pounding heart before Wynonna could tell something was going on. But it was as if Wynonna has no idea how her words sounded to people on the outside—all of the declarations of love, the pet names, the poetic refrains that seemed to slip from her lips as casually as if she were greeting a friend on the street. Waverly had never heard her talk like that to anyone else.

“Wynonna?”

“Yeah, baby girl?”

Waverly hesitated for a moment, working up all the courage she had in her, and then leaned in to kiss Wynonna. It didn’t last longer than a couple seconds, but it felt like an eternity to Waverly, filling her with love and fear and awe and shame. As good as it felt, she had probably just alienated the most important person in the world to her.

When they parted, Waverly opened her mouth to apologize, to beg for forgiveness, to promise she’ll change, but she didn’t have a chance to form the words before Wynonna breathlessly kissed her again. Their lips pressed together for another moment before Wynonna pulled away.

“Wait,” she said. “Shit. Are you possessed with another demon trying to get into me?”

Waverly sat up. “No! I mean—yes?” she lied, a little too late to cover for her actions. A million thoughts buzzed through Waverly’s head, and she couldn’t make sense of any of them. It all culminated into one statement. “You kissed me back,” she breathed.

Waverly sat silently, trying to process what had just happened. Did Wynonna actually…want her? But they were sisters, blood related or not. Wasn’t that wrong? After all, she’d spent so long after Wynonna returned to Purgatory trying to convince herself she wasn’t attracted to her, and then trying to convince herself she wasn’t in love. It was forbidden. It was impossible.

But Wynonna did kiss her back.

“I’m sorry,” Wynonna whispered, and Waverly frowned.

“What? Why?”

“I didn’t—I wasn’t ever supposed to—” Wynonna paused and took a deep breath to gather her thoughts. She couldn’t seem to meet Waverly’s eyes. “You’re my baby sister. I don’t want to hurt you.”

Waverly stared for a moment, then laughed. “Is that it? You don’t want to hurt me?”

“What do you mean, ‘Is that it’?” Wynonna said incredulously. “Why are you laughing? I thought you’d be out the door and disowning me by now!”

“Wynonna!” Waverly took her sister’s face in her hands, unable to stop grinning. “I kissed you first, you doofus. And I want to do it again.”

The whole situation felt so absurd that the words came out confidently despite Waverly’s previous anxiety about her feelings, and it was only then that Wynonna finally looked up at her.

“Are—are you sure?” she said. “Because if this is too weird, or if, you know, you’re being blackmailed or magicked or whatever—”

Waverly shook her head. “It’s not. I’m not.” She leaned in closer to Wynonna. “Please.”

That was all it took. It was as if a dam burst, and Wynonna fell on Waverly like a wave of pure, unadulterated passion. The kisses were short and chaste but full of more emotion than Waverly had ever felt in her life, and the emotion filling her chest only grew as Wynonna gently lowered her onto the pillows to straddle her hips and kiss her deeper.

“I love you,” Wynonna breathed between kisses. “I love you.”

Tears hit Waverly’s face from above, and she opened her eyes to find Wynonna’s face streaked with them. She reached up to cup Wynonna’s cheek, wiping the tears with her thumb, even as they began to prick in her own eyes.

Waverly smiled up at Wynonna. This time, at last, she could say it the way she meant it.

“I love you, too.”


End file.
